If you’re supporting someone who is recovering after a crisis, be prepared to be there, offer support and stay involved. Recovery can take time.
You might need to be prepared to have difficult conversations about what’s going on in their life and how they are feeling. Keep listening to them and don’t avoid talking about suicide or the hard things in their life.
Don’t give up on them and try not to lose contact with them, even if it seems like they are ignoring you.
Help them feel there is hope of things getting better – identify positive things in their life.
If they don’t want to talk with you, ask other people you both trust to support them – friends, family or whānau members, youth workers or others.
Help them access professional help
Help them to access professional help, like a doctor or counsellor. You could offer to go with them or help them to make appointments.
Let them know about free counselling services like Lifeline and Youthline and give them the contact details.
Help them feel that things can get better
- Encourage and support them to do the things they enjoy, keep physically active and connect with others.
- Accept them for who they are and let them know you care.
- When they're ready, support them to make plans for their future, solve problems and set goals.
Remember to take care of yourself when you are caring for others – make sure you’re getting enough sleep, eating properly and exercising.
Be kind to yourself, and take time out when you need to. Being in this situation can be very difficult, and you can’t do everything.
Find someone you can talk to about this – a friend or family member you trust, or a counsellor.
Know that it is not your fault if someone close to you attempts suicide.
Building a support network
It’s important to involve others to help you and the person you’re supporting – don’t try to do everything yourself.
To build a support network:
- ask the person you're supporting to tell you what they need, what works for them and who should be involved
- your support network might include cultural elders, spiritual leaders or community groups they're part of, as well as friends, family and whānau
- bring the group together in a safe space
- talk openly and honestly about the situation
- talk to them about what they will do if they feel suicidal again, how they plan to keep safe, and how others can help with this
- develop a plan together to support the person – identify how different people can help. Get professional help if you need it. Talk to your local doctor, medical centre, community mental health team or counselling service.
For more information and support, talk to your local doctor, medical centre, hauora, community mental health team, school counsellor or counselling service.
Below is a list of some of the telephone helplines or services available which offer support, information and help. All services are free, and are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week unless otherwise stated.
For counselling and support
- Need to talk? Free call or text 1737 any time
- Lifeline – 0800 543 354
- Samaritans – 0800 726 666
- Chinese Lifeline – 0800 888 880
(for people who speak Mandarin or Cantonese)
For children and young people
- Youthline – 0800 376 633, free text 234 or email [email protected]
(for young people, and their parents, whānau and friends)
- What's Up – 0800 942 8787
(for 5–18 year olds; 1 pm to 11 pm and online chat service from 11am-10.30pm, every day including public holidays)
- The Lowdown – visit the website, email [email protected] or free text 5626 (emails and text messages will be responded to between 12 noon and 12 midnight)
- SPARX – an online self-help tool that teaches young people the key skills needed to help combat depression and anxiety
For help with specific issues
- Depression.org.nz – includes The Journal free online self-help tool
- OUTLine NZ – 0800 688 5463 (0800 OUTLINE)
(for sexuality or gender identity issues; 9 am to 9 pm weekdays, and 6 pm to 8 pm weekends).
- Alcohol Drug Helpline – 0800 787 797
(for people dealing with an alcohol or other drug problem; 10 am to 10 pm)
- Women's Refuge Crisisline – 0800 733 843 (0800 REFUGE)
(for women living with violence, or in fear, in their relationship or family)
- Shakti Crisis Line – 0800 742 584
(for migrant or refugee women living with family violence)
- Rape Crisis – 0800 883 300
(for support after rape or sexual assault)
- PlunketLine – 0800 933 922
(support for new parents, including mothers experiencing postnatal depression)
For families, whānau, friends and supporters
- Skylight – 0800 299 100
(for support through trauma, loss and grief; 9 am to 5 pm weekdays)
- Mental Health Foundation – for more information about supporting someone in distress, looking after your mental health and working towards recovery
Find out more from the Ministry
Go to Suicide prevention to find out what the Ministry and health sector are doing to help prevent suicide in New Zealand.